


care

by zannen



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Anal Play, BDSM, Bad Dirty Talk, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub, Face-Fucking, Fluff and Smut, Kink Negotiation, Light Bondage, M/M, Power Play, Praise Kink, Rimming, Sensory Deprivation, Spanking, Subspace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 17:22:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19816972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zannen/pseuds/zannen
Summary: Yes, fine, his first impression of Kyungsoo may have been a little off. But in Baekhyun's defense, popular media had never shown him that Dominants could be sweet.





	care

**Author's Note:**

> literally no one asked for this, so naturally that's why i had to write it  
> *shrug emoji*

When Baekhyun told Chanyeol the other week—his slight tipsiness at the time a poor excuse for his oversharing—about the interest he had in the whole BDSM craze, he’d done it in confidence. So yeah, he’s a little annoyed to find that Chanyeol went and fucking talked to someone about it, especially since it’s someone Baekhyun doesn’t even know—especially because Chanyeol was fucking soliciting them on his behalf. Is nothing sacred between friends anymore? Who’s he supposed to trust if he can’t even tell his close friend and housemate about wanting to get tied up and spanked?

“All I’m saying is he has some experience,” says Chanyeol, not fazed at all by Baekhyun’s look of betrayal. “And he thinks you’re hot or something, so he might be down to, I dunno, slap you with his dick or whatever.” He’s just washing dishes as he says this, like it’s a perfectly normal conversation to have with another human.

Baekhyun, who’s towel-drying said dishes, recoils. “Did he say that?”

“What? Nah,” says Chanyeol. “He’d never talk to me about what he does with his dick. Pretty big prude for someone who’s such a freak. That’s just the first thing that came to mind, for some reason.”

“If he’s a prude, how do you even know he’s into that stuff?” Baekhyun presses, putting a dish away in the cupboard.

“Accidentally found some weird shit at his place once.” He hands Baekhyun a saucepan to dry. “So if you wondered: Turns out you really can’t pretend a ball gag is anything but a ball gag.”

“Uh.”

“Anyway, just wanted to let you know. He’s a cool guy. Not some weird internet serial killer. So if you wanted someone to try that shit out with, he’s probably a safe choice. But also,” Chanyeol adds, “this isn’t, you know, a personal recommendation, so if he ends up wanting to take pictures of your feet it’s definitely not my fault.”

“Jesus _Christ_ ,” Baekhyun mutters.

So that’s how Baekhyun ends up with Kyungsoo’s number. He’s also treated to Chanyeol shoving his phone in his face a few times, some photos of Kyungsoo pulled up on Instagram. He doesn’t look like the kind of guy Baekhyun would imagine dominating a person—small, unassuming, an awkward and tentative sort of smile on his face half the time—but he’s good-looking, at least. Baekhyun wouldn’t say no to a regular, vanilla hookup with him.

The first text Baekhyun sends is, _hi, chanyeol’s a dick but you’re really cute_

He gets a reply half an hour later: _Baekhyun, right?_ Then, _You’re not so bad yourself._

They have a normal conversation for a bit, like they _aren’t_ just looking to fuck, and it’s so casual and innocuous that Baekhyun starts to wonder if Chanyeol’s pulling the worst prank in the universe on him. Maybe Kyungsoo’s just a friend of Chanyeol’s who saw a picture of Baekhyun and asked after him, and the BDSM thing was just a lie Chanyeol told so that Baekhyun would embarrass himself. He wouldn’t put it past him. It could be payback for the time last month when Baekhyun faintly overheard Chanyeol and his boyfriend going at it, and, after hearing a hiss of “You like that?” had shouted at the wall between them, “Yeah, Daddy, harder!”

…So if this _is_ some kind of elaborate prank designed to humiliate him, Baekhyun probably does deserve it, really. But that’s not the point.

Somewhere down the line, though, Kyungsoo just comes out and says, _If you’re serious about getting into kink, we could meet up and talk about it._

 _only if that’s not weird_ , Baekhyun replies. _we don’t really know each other haha_

_Not that weird. If you’re not comfortable, though, I get it._

Uncomfortable isn’t the word for it. Skeptical, maybe. Kyungsoo seems too bland to be an actual Dom, so Baekhyun doubts much of anything will come out of this either way. It couldn’t hurt to meet the guy though, flirt a little, maybe charm a date out of him. Then they can go their separate ways, and Baekhyun will find some other means of meeting people who can sexually torture him.

He texts back, _nah i’m fine with it. where do you wanna meet_

They decide it makes more sense to meet at Baekhyun’s, since talking about BDSM in a public place could be awkward, and Kyungsoo’s apartment has _paraphernalia_ , which, yes, is kind of intimidating. Plus, despite Chanyeol’s promise that Kyungsoo definitely isn’t a murderer, it just seems ill-advised to go to a relative stranger’s home. Kyungsoo doesn’t have to worry about Baekhyun murdering him, though, since Chanyeol would definitely notice if he came home to a crime scene.

So that settles it. Friday night, Baekhyun’s gonna meet a cute guy, have an awkward talk about kinks, and see if there’s any hope of at least getting a solid make-out session out of the ordeal. He’d consider that a success.

“I forgot to ask before,” says Kyungsoo, “but you didn’t read or watch Fifty Shades, did you?”

“Nope. Heard about the bad writing and all the weird euphemisms for pussies and stayed the hell away.” Baekhyun hums thoughtfully. “I watched Secretary, though, since people online kept recommending it?”

Kyungsoo winces. “Still not great, but it’s a step in the right direction, at least.”

In person, Kyungsoo looks even cuter and more harmless than he did in pictures. He has big doe eyes, framed by thick, dorky glasses, and when he smiles he looks so sweet, so adorable that Baekhyun just wants to squish his cheeks. And sitting the way he is on one end of Baekhyun’s couch, he looks polite and wholesome. Hot voice, though, all low and soft. It’s a nice combination of qualities.

“It’s important to know why you’re interested in kink in the first place,” says Kyungsoo, calmly and matter-of-factly, clearly not flustered by the topic of conversation at all, unlike Baekhyun. “It shouldn’t be a substitute for therapy like it was in that movie. And it shouldn’t be glorified abuse, either.”

“What _should_ it be?” asks Baekhyun.

“Freeing,” Kyungsoo says simply. “You can be whatever version of yourself you want. As long as you respect other people, there aren’t any limits. Well.” He smiles wryly, adjusting his glasses. “Except for legal and physical ones. But that should go without saying.”

The idea definitely holds Baekhyun’s interest. He likes trying new things, especially in the bedroom. Likes learning things about himself, too. “So what about you?” he asks. “I mean, why do you do it?”

“Me?” Kyungsoo makes a considering noise. “I like the exchange of trust, mostly. It’s nice to have someone asking me to take care of them and giving me control. It makes me feel… special, I guess?” He looks a little bashful at this, the first time so far that he’s shown even a hint of embarrassment. “But I’ve switched a few times, too.”

“Didn’t like it?” Baekhyun guesses.

Kyungsoo shrugs. “It’s fine to do it once in a while,” he says, “but I don’t prefer it. And I get anxious about submitting if I don’t think my partner knows what they’re doing.” Then he asks, “What’s the appeal for you?”

“Um.” Baekhyun laughs, sheepish. “It’s hot? I don’t know a lot about how it works,” he confesses. “I just like the idea of, y’know, blindfolds and handcuffs and stuff like that.”

Grinning, Kyungsoo says, “There’s nothing wrong with that. Mainstream kink became mainstream for a reason.” Then he sobers somewhat. “If it’s something you’re interested in trying, just to see if you like it or not, I’d be happy to help.”

Frankly, Baekhyun still isn’t sold on the idea of Kyungsoo sexually dominating anyone. He does seem to know his stuff, though. This would probably, Baekhyun thinks, be a good overall introduction to kink, even if the experience itself doesn’t meet expectations.

“How would that work?” asks Baekhyun, feeling incredibly naïve about the whole thing. “Would we just… start?”

“We’d have to talk about it first,” says Kyungsoo. “Set boundaries. I’d need you to tell me what you are and aren’t okay with, and set up a system so you can let me know if you don’t like something.”

“A safeword.” Finally, something he’s vaguely familiar with.

A nod. “That’s one method. There are a lot of options, though. I usually go with the traffic light.” At Baekhyun’s confused look, he explains, “You say ‘red’ to stop everything, ‘yellow’ to slow down and reconfigure, and ‘green’ to go ahead.”

“And once we get that figured out, _then_ we fuck,” says Baekhyun.

“It doesn’t have to involve fucking,” says Kyungsoo, “but yeah, that’s usually the next step. Then comes the aftercare, where the submissive gets taken care of so they don’t feel used and traumatized. You’d have to communicate with me for that, too, so I would know what you need to feel safe.”

“Makes sense, I guess,” says Baekhyun. He isn’t willing to admit to his surprise that there’s such a complex, thorough process involved, for fear of sounding like an ignorant dweeb. He kind of, to his embarrassment, thought it was just about getting your ass paddled and yelling a nonsense word if it hurt too much. And of course it isn’t just that. If it were, people wouldn’t have a whole fucking subculture devoted to it.

“So what do you think?” Kyungsoo adds, “You don’t have to be ready for anything right now. If you need to think it over, I’ll—”

“No,” Baekhyun cuts in, “I think I want to try. But.” He breathes out a nervous laugh. “This might be kinda—just, could we have sex first? Normal sex. Not that kinky stuff isn’t normal,” he rushes to add, “but it feels… weird, just, the thought of doing all this with someone I don’t even know if I’m compatible with.”

“You know,” Kyungsoo says with a tiny smile, “it’s nice to meet someone who actually thinks I’m capable of having vanilla sex.”

Baekhyun blinks. “Wait, aren’t you?”

“Of course. But some people think I have a fetish where I can’t get off if I’m not choking someone.”

Hm. Baekhyun instinctively glances down at Kyungsoo’s hands, noting how broad they are. Not that he has any reason to care about something like that.

“So is that a yes?” he asks.

Kyungsoo’s smile widens the smallest bit. “Yes,” he says. “I’d like that.”

“Should we—now?” Baekhyun isn’t nervous, per se, but he doesn’t normally have conversations about sleeping with people before it happens. It tends to be a natural progression of events, something that just happens in the moment. He’s a bit out of his element here.

“Do you want to now?” asks Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun mulls it over for a second, gaze drawn to Kyungsoo’s lips and their plush softness. Reflexively, he licks his own lips in anticipation. He already knows his answer.

Kyungsoo, too, seems to know what the verdict is. He takes off his glasses, sets them carefully on the side table, then scoots down the couch toward Baekhyun. His eyes are so pretty, now that Baekhyun can see them properly. So deep and shining and bright.

They close the distance between them, and as their lips connect Baekhyun’s eyes flutter shut. He’s mesmerized at once by the gentleness of Kyungsoo’s mouth, how incredibly soft it is against Baekhyun’s. It’s not the kiss of someone who could take Baekhyun apart, but it’s nice, gentlemanly. A little tender. He’s even gentle when he gets a hand on the nape of Baekhyun’s neck, fingers curling into his hair.

“Your room?” asks Kyungsoo, his lips just grazing against Baekhyun’s. “Or here?”

“Depends. What are we doing?” He sucks lightly on Kyungsoo’s upper lip, eliciting a quiet hum. “You fucking me?”

“Is that what you want?”

“Is it what _you_ want?” Baekhyun counters.

“If we’re doing it here,” says Kyungsoo, “I wanna ride you.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun breathes. “Yes, fuck.”

With that, Kyungsoo shifts, crawling onto Baekhyun’s lap. Their kissing turns all at once more heated, Baekhyun coaxing Kyungsoo’s mouth open and tasting him, groaning as Kyungsoo tugs lightly, experimentally at his hair. The next tug is harder, but not enough to be painful. Still pulling, Kyungsoo breaks away from Baekhyun’s mouth to start kissing down his throat, and Baekhyun gets it. He tilts his head back, following the downward pull of Kyungsoo’s hand and baring his neck. The hand immediately stops its insistent tugging, combs absently through Baekhyun’s hair a couple of times, as though smoothing it down, then disappears.

The position makes it impossible to watch, so Baekhyun just focuses on the sensation of Kyungsoo mouthing at his collarbones with lips and teeth. Then deft fingers start to unbutton his shirt, and Kyungsoo’s lips continue their downward descent. Baekhyun leans back until he’s lying nearly horizontal, propped up on his elbows, giving Kyungsoo easier access. He watches almost dazedly as Kyungsoo reaches up to brush his thumb over a nipple, rubbing little circles around it, then leaning down to suck on it with those soft, wonderful lips. Baekhyun doesn’t bother holding back his quiet moan, or keeping his back from arching.

He’s getting hard already, so he mumbles something about condoms, and is met with a chuckle.

“I came prepared,” says Kyungsoo. “Don’t worry.” He moves to suck on the other nipple, grazing it this time with his teeth.

Baekhyun shifts his balance to free one arm. He brings a hand to the back of Kyungsoo’s head, where the hair is short and bristly, and just holds him in place as Kyungsoo’s mouth keeps working its magic. “Such a boy scout,” he teases.

Kyungsoo peers up at him through his lashes. “Sorry,” he murmurs coyly, “but roleplaying isn’t really my thing.”

There’s some repositioning to be done. Baekhyun makes himself comfortable on the couch while Kyungsoo gets up to take his own jeans off, pausing to take a condom out of one pocket, which he holds between his teeth as he continues undressing. He takes off everything but his shirt, then climbs back onto the couch to straddle Baekhyun’s legs.

He leans forward, gets a hand on the fly of Baekhyun’s tented jeans, and pauses, looking up at Baekhyun in silent question, still-wrapped condom dangling from his mouth by a corner. Baekhyun nods, watching with bated breath as Kyungsoo unzips the offending pants and palms at Baekhyun’s clothed cock.

Is it presumptuous that Kyungsoo prepped himself and brought condoms? Maybe, but Baekhyun can’t say he’s bothered in the slightest. He lifts his hips as Kyungsoo pulls his pants and underwear down, stopping midway down his thigh. Then he watches appreciatively as Kyungsoo rolls the slick condom onto Baekhyun’s cock, pumps it a few times, and positions it to sink down onto it. At this point, Baekhyun doesn’t even care all that much about getting kinky; he’s perfectly content with the satisfaction of a good lay. He bucks into Kyungsoo, who seems very earnestly determined to ride him into an early grave.

Even so, it’s a little embarrassing, how quickly Baekhyun comes, though Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to mind. He pants, Baekhyun’s softening cock still in him as he’s jerked off until the thick stripes of his come paint Baekhyun’s abdomen.

“So,” Kyungsoo says between heavy breaths. “Think we’re compatible?”

“Dunno,” says Baekhyun. “Too soon to tell. Guess we’ll need a repeat performance.”

Kyungsoo chuckles. “I wouldn’t complain.” His gaze roves over Baekhyun’s body, lingering on the pool of come on his skin. “To be honest, though,” he says lowly, “I’m already thinking about the ways I could have fun with you, if you let me.”

That sends a hot shudder up Baekhyun’s entire body. He thinks, suddenly, that he may have misjudged Kyungsoo a tiny bit.

That said, Kyungsoo’s apartment isn’t exactly a sex dungeon. His furniture is all cutely mismatched and a bit worn, and the decorations, while neat, are a bit eclectic. On one bookcase in the living room there’s a shelf filled entirely with coffee mugs. When Kyungsoo sees Baekhyun looking at them, he explains, “My friend travels a lot for work. He gets me one from every place he goes to.”

“Why don’t you use them?” asks Baekhyun.

“I’d have to pick favorites,” says Kyungsoo. “It doesn’t seem fair.”

Baekhyun holds back a laugh and grins. “Were you one of those kids who felt bad if they neglected one of their stuffed animals?”

“Of course,” says Kyungsoo, “what kind of monster didn’t?”

The bedroom, too, is entirely normal and inoffensive. Baekhyun makes himself at home on the perfectly-made bed right away, and _god_ , the sheets smell like they just came out of the dryer and everything. Kyungsoo warns him not to fall asleep, to which Baekhyun, indignant, replies that he would _never_ , not when they’re about to negotiate weird sex things.

And he couldn’t sleep even if he wanted to, because Kyungsoo hands him a printed list and a pen and asks him to mark, for each thing, whether he wants to do it, is willing to try it, or won’t do it at all. A plus sign, zero, or minus, for shorthand. Baekhyun holds up the list, a little intimidated by the sheer length of it—one page front and back, in a small font—and starts reading.

Some things feel obvious (of course he wants to be tied up, teased, spanked) while others are less so ( _does_ he want to be demeaned?), and there are a few things he has to ask about.

“How is punishment different from, you know, beating and orgasm denial and stuff?” he asks, squinting at the page dubiously. “And isn’t it the same as discipline?”

“There are different kinds of punishment. What we would do would depend on what you’re okay with,” says Kyungsoo, who’s been looking at something on his phone this whole time, seated on a desk chair nearby. “And it can be done either for fun or as a part of discipline, which is about behavior correction.”

“Explain?”

Kyungsoo looks up from his phone. “Think of it this way. You can misbehave on purpose so I’ll do something you’ll like, which is just a pretend punishment. Or you can try to do as I say, and I’ll either reward you for being good or punish you for disobeying. Discipline isn’t for fun; it’s training.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun pauses. “So… why do people do it, if it’s not fun?”

“Why do professional athletes compete when they could lose?” Kyungsoo counters. “Because when you do well, you have something to be proud of. And when you don’t—” He shrugs. “You pay the price.”

Baekhyun chews on his lip, marks discipline as willing-to-try, and continues down the list.

After, he hands it to Kyungsoo, feeling the same sort of trepidation he would with a job interview. He drums his fingers on his legs while Kyungsoo scans the answers with a blank, neutral gaze. He’d said he wouldn’t judge, but Baekhyun, who doesn’t have the luxury of feeling guiltless for his desires because society has told him he _needs_ to feel ashamed of them, can’t help but feel judged anyway.

“Would you feel better if you saw my list, too?” asks Kyungsoo, looking at him with a shred of what seems like sympathy.

“You don’t have to,” says Baekhyun, “but since you mentioned it…”

Apparently Kyungsoo anticipated this, because he has another sheet of paper ready to hand to Baekhyun, who all too quickly snatches it up.

“The ones that are underlined are things I’ve done before,” Kyungsoo says before turning his focus back to Baekhyun’s list.

The most striking part is that Kyungsoo, despite allegedly being a prude, is willing to try a lot of things. Has _already_ tried a lot of things, apparently. There are a few that actually make Baekhyun’s face heat up, like double penetration and exhibitionism. He tries to imagine Kyungsoo fucking him while someone else watches, but has to quickly dismiss the thought when he feels a telltale stirring in his jeans. It’s on the table, though, apparently. He’ll have to pretend for now that the possibility never came up, for the sake of his sanity.

(He also notes with relief that foot worship is a decisive _no_ , so Chanyeol can fuck off.)

“There’s nothing you’re interested in that’s an outright no for me,” Kyungsoo says eventually. “But a few of them need boundaries established.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“For one, I won’t mark you anywhere readily visible. You can do what you want with your body, but I’d rather keep what we’re doing between us.” Then Kyungsoo’s eyes widen slightly. “Oh—I guess we haven’t touched on whether you’re seeing anyone else or not.”

“We fucked on my couch,” says Baekhyun, a little miffed. “If I _was_ dating anyone, don’t you think it would’ve come up already?”

“I’m not passing judgment,” says Kyungsoo. “Open relationships with kink aren’t that uncommon.”

“So _you’re_ seeing someone, is what I’m gathering from this.”

“No,” says Kyungsoo. “I don’t have any other play partners right now, either. Anyway, the reason I brought it up is because I’m not interested in fueling anyone’s jealousy. So if a romantic partner would be upset to see markings on your thighs, or something like that, I wouldn’t want it to be my problem.”

“Oh, yeah, fair enough.” Baekhyun does another quick skim of Kyungsoo’s list. “Let me guess, you’re also gonna say that we can’t do anything unprotected without getting tested.”

“That’s obvious.”

“Well, guess who’s prepared now,” Baekhyun says smugly. “Just did it yesterday.”

Kyungsoo chuckles. “A little last-minute, but I still appreciate the thought.”

“What, are you saying you got it done before that?”

“Day before we met,” Kyungsoo confirms.

“That’s really considerate, actually, so I’m not even mad that you one-upped me,” says Baekhyun. “Anyway, what else is there?”

“If we do try degradation or humiliation, I want you to know there are limits to the things I’m willing to say to you,” says Kyungsoo. “Words like ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ or anything comparing you to a woman are a no.”

“Alright, noted.”

“That extends to cross-dressing, too. No matter what you’re wearing, I’m still going to refer to you as a man, unless you give me an explicit indication that you aren’t one.”

What a dear. Baekhyun wants to kiss the frown right off his face.

“’Kay, next?”

“Just as an overall rule,” says Kyungsoo, “any kink or scenario we try is over the moment a scene ends. I won’t try to bring any of it into our regular lives, and you shouldn’t, either. That includes things like asking you to wear a plug when we aren’t together, or any power play over phone or text.”

“Ah,” Baekhyun says with a grin, “so I can’t message you to say I’ve been a bad boy and need to be spanked?”

“You… could,” Kyungsoo says slowly, “but I’d just take that as an invitation to meet up.”

Baekhyun tuts, but then something occurs to him. “So is this just some kind of arrangement we’re setting up? I mean, are you gonna have me sign a contract where I acknowledge that we’re only gonna have fun BDSM adventures and can’t see each other outside of that? Is there an NDA I gotta sign?”

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes accusingly and says, “You said you never saw Fifty Shades.”

“I didn’t! I watched reviews!” Baekhyun says defensively. “They were funny, okay?”

“No contracts or NDAs,” says Kyungsoo. “Verbal consent is fine. And I’m fine with seeing you outside of this, if that’s something you want.”

“So we can be friends,” says Baekhyun.

“Sure.”

“What about dating?”

“Dating other people?” asks Kyungsoo.

“No,” says Baekhyun, “I mean us. Going on dates.”

There’s a look of undeniable surprise on Kyungsoo’s face. “We could do that,” he says, “but I think we should focus on one thing at a time, to avoid making it too complicated.”

“I just don’t want this to turn into the kind of scenario where one of us catches feelings but can’t do anything about it because we agreed feelings shouldn’t be a thing,” says Baekhyun. “And then we’d have to drop the whole arrangement, and everything would be an awkward mess.”

“I’m fine with the nature of our relationship changing, if it makes sense for that to happen,” says Kyungsoo. “But let’s see how this goes first.”

The next thing they have to figure out, after setting the lists aside, is a code or safeword. Baekhyun feels oddly self-conscious about choosing a word to use, as if that would reveal something about him, something personal and embarrassing. He feels like it’s easier to go with the color system Kyungsoo brought up before, which is simple and intuitive and doesn’t reveal anything whatsoever about Baekhyun as a person.

There’s also, optionally, names. In theory, it should be funny to hear Kyungsoo list off the possible things Baekhyun could call him—Kyungsoo, Master, Daddy, Sir, Mr. Doh—but it just makes Baekhyun flustered. He opts for Kyungsoo’s name, easily the least frightening or ridiculous among the selection. When asked what he wants Kyungsoo to call him in return, though, he draws a blank. Then, as Kyungsoo starts to offer some options, Baekhyun makes a noise of protest, panicking slightly.

“Are you uncomfortable with pet names?” asks Kyungsoo, looking genuinely curious. “We don’t have to use them.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Baekhyun mumbles, flopping back on the bed and rolling over to hide his burning face. “S’just embarrassing.”

“Why?” When Baekhyun doesn’t answer, Kyungsoo goes on to ask, “Because it turns you on?”

Baekhyun just groans miserably into the sheets.

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo chides, “you don’t need to be ashamed about the things you like.”

There’s a creaking sound, and brief footsteps, and Baekhyun feels the bed dip near him. A hand comes to rest gently on his back.

“Here,” says Kyungsoo. “Look at me.”

Baekhyun turns his head slightly and sees Kyungsoo’s knee. He sighs and turns further, looking up to meet Kyungsoo’s eye, even though some part of him would rather just be dead.

“I won’t make fun of you,” says Kyungsoo, expression earnest. “Whatever you tell me you want, I won’t judge you or laugh.”

“ _I’ll_ judge me,” says Baekhyun.

“Everyone does at first. You’ll get over that once you realize how much better it is when you stop caring.”

“Probably.”

“Can you sit up?” Kyungsoo asks.

Baekhyun does, reluctantly.

Then Kyungsoo says, “I want to kiss you. Is that okay?”

Baekhyun nods, and Kyungsoo leans in to kiss him softly, murmuring for him to close his eyes, which he does.

“Tell me if you like any of these,” says Kyungsoo, and kisses him again. “Baby.”

Baekhyun, still flustered, hums indifferently.

Another kiss. “Pet.”

That one makes Baekhyun scrunch his nose slightly.

Kyungsoo chuckles before kissing him again, saying, “Sweetheart.”

This time, Baekhyun gives a quiet _Mmhm_.

“Good.” Another kiss. “Puppy.”

It certainly makes Baekhyun feel some kind of way, but he can’t tell if it’s positive or negative, so he stays confusedly silent.

Another kiss, followed by, “Baby boy.”

Baekhyun hums uncertainly. “Maybe,” he mumbles.

Kyungsoo kisses him, and offers instead, “Good boy?”

Baekhyun shudders and gives another _Mmhm_.

There’s another kiss, and Kyungsoo just says, “Baekhyun,” but with a soft reverence Baekhyun’s never heard applied to his own name before.

Baekhyun rasps, “Yes,” and kisses him back finally, latches onto him.

Kyungsoo allows this for a moment, then pulls back and asks, “Want to start?”

To which Baekhyun can only give a helpless, “Yeah.”

Then comes the worst question of all: “What do you want me to do to you?”

Baekhyun doesn’t have an answer. He looks at Kyungsoo’s mouth, his eyes. He murmurs, “Whatever you want to do.”

Kyungsoo hums thoughtfully. “I have a few things you sounded curious about yesterday,” he says.

The faux leather cuffs are softer than Baekhyun would have thought, but also sturdy. While he isn’t about to attempt to break free from them, he suspects he’d have a hard time of it if he tried. Kyungsoo checks in with him about the fit and feeling before putting the blindfold in place. Then it’s dark, and Baekhyun’s hands are bound behind him. He’s naked but for his boxer briefs, and entirely at Kyungsoo’s mercy as he sits at the foot of the bed, waiting.

“Just going to touch you,” says Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun makes the mistake of getting momentarily excited, but Kyungsoo just touches a hand to his cheek in a soft caress. No—back of the hand, he realizes, as the knuckles trail down his cheek and neck. The hand shifts, moves to the base of Baekhyun’s throat—just touching, no pressure whatsoever. There’s a feather-light stroke along his collarbone. Thumb, if he had to guess.

“You were on the fence about collars, weren’t you?” says Kyungsoo. Then, almost absently, “You’d look nice in one. You have a pretty neck.”

Well, he’s less uncertain about it _now_. He’s painfully suggestible, especially when there are compliments involved. Isn’t sure what exactly the implications or uses of a collar are, granted, but would be open to wearing one for aesthetic purposes, at minimum.

The hand at the top of Baekhyun’s chest stays where it is, almost steadying him, while the other reaches back and tangles itself in his hair, keeping away from the blindfold.

“Did you like it when I pulled your hair?” asks Kyungsoo.

“Yeah,” says Baekhyun.

“That’s ‘Yes, Kyungsoo.’” His voice, so calm and soothing before, is now firm. Not sharp, not threatening, but assured and intentional.

Something prickles inside of Baekhyun, a warm, strange something that he doesn’t recognize. “Yes, Kyungsoo,” he repeats.

“Do you want me to do it again?”

“Yes, Kyungsoo.”

“Good boy,” Kyungsoo murmurs, making the prickling inside of Baekhyun intensify.

He takes a fistful of Baekhyun’s hair and gives a quick, hard tug. Either he’s doing it harder than he did the other day, or Baekhyun’s so wired he’s just feeling it more. It doesn’t hurt-hurt, just feels a little sharp, like it might ache a little if Kyungsoo kept doing it. In a good way, though. Baekhyun lets out the tiniest breath of noise, unwilling, for once, to be the one to break the silence of the room.

“Do you want me to be rough with you, Baekhyun?” asks Kyungsoo, smoothing Baekhyun’s hair down again, petting him. “Or do you want me to be gentle?”

“Rough?” says Baekhyun, and he doesn’t mean for it to come out like a question, but there it goes.

“Yellow,” Kyungsoo says abruptly. “If you’re not sure about something, you can stop me and ask. I won’t try to trick you or force you into anything.”

“Okay,” says Baekhyun, “so how rough is rough?”

Kyungsoo tells him.

“Okay, green, good to go,” Baekhyun says quickly.

If Kyungsoo is amused at all by Baekhyun’s enthusiasm, it doesn’t show. Not audibly, at least. He just says, “I’m taking your underwear off.” Then adds, “Lean into me if you have to.”

The elastic band is pushed down until it meets resistance from the mattress and the bend of Baekhyun’s thigh. He moves his weight forward to lift his hips up, more or less falling into Kyungsoo in the process, bracing awkwardly against his shoulder as the underwear gets pulled further down. Kyungsoo murmurs for him to sit back, calls him a _good boy_ again. Baekhyun brings his legs together without needing to be asked, and then Kyungsoo pulls the garment all the way off and it’s gone, leaving Baekhyun fully naked on the bed.

He isn’t shy by any means, especially not about his body. But being restrained like this, with his sight gone and everything, he feels oddly vulnerable. More so because he knows Kyungsoo is watching him, fully clothed. He wills himself not to shrink down or try to hide himself; if Kyungsoo wants to look, Baekhyun will let him.

After a long pause, he hears, “Move back a little.”

Baekhyun scoots back inch by inch, the movement made difficult without use of his hands. He stops when Kyungsoo tells him to, then waits once again.

Kyungsoo climbs onto the bed. Baekhyun feels it, hears it, his heart picking up in anticipation. Fabric brushes against Baekhyun’s feet and calves before he feels the weight that is Kyungsoo settle between his legs, still all too far away.

“You’re breathing harder,” says Kyungsoo. “Are you excited?”

“Yes, Kyungsoo.”

“You want to taste me?” asks Kyungsoo, voice pitched so dangerously low as to be maddening.

“Yes, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun almost adds _please_ but isn’t sure if that’s allowed.

The sound of a zipper has him alert. He pushes away thoughts of how ridiculous he must look, perking up over the smallest thing like this, rendered so pathetic by a few restraints. But he’s also, unhelpfully, thinking about that stupid passing comment Chanyeol made about Kyungsoo slapping Baekhyun with his dick, which is conceptually sort of ridiculous but also obscenely, disgustingly hot.

“Take my fingers first,” he hears, followed by a pressure against his lips. He opens his mouth expectantly and two fingers slide in, which he immediately begins to suck on, lips and tongue working eagerly. Keeps sucking as Kyungsoo moves them slowly in and out, then feels suddenly bereft when they’re pulled back out entirely.

A hand presses down briefly but firmly on his back, forcing him to lean forward. He knows his breathing must be embarrassingly loud now, but there’s nothing he can do about it when the anticipation is so great. He feels Kyungsoo cup his cheek and has to fight the urge to lean into it.

“Here,” Kyungsoo murmurs.

Another touch against Baekhyun’s lips. He thinks for just half a second that it’s Kyungsoo’s fingers again, but he feels it drag heavily against his lower lip, and he knows it isn’t. His brain goes fuzzy with excitement, while his mouth falls open more or less of its own accord.

“You want me to fuck your face?”

Baekhyun answers, “Yes, Kyungsoo,” and practically kisses the head of Kyungsoo’s cock in the process of forming the words.

“Tap me with your foot if you need me to stop,” says Kyungsoo, then starts to slide his length into Baekhyun’s mouth.

If Baekhyun had known sensory deprivation could make giving head this exciting, he would’ve started doing this years ago. He feels hot all over, a bone-deep thrill coursing through him as Kyungsoo thrusts into his mouth. His own cock is showing interest, too, hardening against his thigh just from having his mouth helplessly used like this.

As the pace starts to pick up, the hand on Baekhyun’s cheek eventually moves to the back of his head. He gets only a moment of dizzy expectation before his hair is harshly pulled again, so sudden and sharp it has him moaning around Kyungsoo’s cock.

They continue like this, Baekhyun’s jaw tiring and lips turning raw and spit dribbling down his chin and eyes streaming under the blindfold, pitiful little moans being drawn out from his throat, but a profound, buzzing arousal taking him over all the same. The soft grunts he hears Kyungsoo let out spur him on, too. He’s almost disappointed when he hears the strained warning that Kyungsoo’s going to come, but feels another wave of anticipation, too, over getting to swallow it down.

After, when Kyungsoo pulls out from his mouth, he coughs. His throat is absolutely wrecked. In spite of that, a part of him wishes they could have kept going. The hot buzz lingering in his body almost demands it. But even that is slowly ebbing away, he realizes.

He hears a zipper once again before Kyungsoo asks, “Do you want me to touch you?”

“Yes, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun croaks.

Kyungsoo pushes him back upright by the shoulders, then straddles Baekhyun’s thighs. Still clothed, even after all this. Of course.

As Kyungsoo jerks him off, he kisses Baekhyun’s neck, his jaw, the space just below his ear, the shell of the ear itself. Whispers things like, “So good for me, sweetheart,” and, “Such a good boy,” and, “Let me make you feel good.”

Baekhyun comes into Kyungsoo’s hand, panting, weak. And now whatever thing was driving him to keep going is utterly gone, and he’s limp with exhaustion, slumping against a Kyungsoo-shaped something. He feels arms wrap around him. “I’ve got you,” a voice murmurs. “That’s it.”

Hands move down to grasp at his wrists. With a _click_ , the handcuffs fall away, and there’s a quiet _thump_ that he thinks is them being dropped on the floor. Baekhyun’s hands feel stiff from keeping them balled into loose fists for so long. That’s no one’s fault but his own, though.

“Close your eyes,” he hears. “I’m taking the blindfold off.”

He does. The blindfold, too, disappears quickly, leaving his face bare. The light seeping in red through his eyelids stings, forcing him to squint as he blinks his eyes tentatively open.

His head is fuzzy and he feels more uselessly tired than he’s been in a long time. But he sees Kyungsoo in front of him, peering into his eyes analytically, like Baekhyun is a piece of merchandise he’s inspecting for damage.

“How do you feel?” asks Kyungsoo, gingerly wiping Baekhyun’s chin and lower lip with a corner of the bedsheet.

“Tired,” says Baekhyun. “Thirsty.”

“Hold on.” Kyungsoo climbs off the bed. Baekhyun doesn’t have the energy to turn his head to follow his movement, just waits until he reappears. “It’s not cold,” he says, holding up a brightly-colored bottle, “but it should help.”

He helps Baekhyun drink, holding the bottle to his lips and supporting the back of his head. It’s some kind of sports drink, Baekhyun realizes distantly. He’s so thirsty he nearly guzzles the whole bottle in one go. Then he stops and coughs a few more times, wincing at the rawness of his throat and mouth.

“Bath or bed?” Kyungsoo asks. He has a hand on the curve of Baekhyun’s neck, a gentle pressure.

“Bed’s fine,” says Baekhyun. “’M already here.”

“Okay,” says Kyungsoo. “Can you move back toward the pillows for me, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun nods. He turns over and crawls up the bed, where he settles lazily against the pillows. Kyungsoo brings out a quilted blanket and fans it out over the bed, then tucks Baekhyun in with it. Even leans down to kiss him on the forehead.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” asks Kyungsoo. “Or would you rather sleep?”

“Both,” says Baekhyun, clumsily patting the space next to him. “Get in here.”

Kyungsoo laughs. He has a small, beautiful smile, all heart-shaped and lovely. “Alright,” he says. “Give me a second.”

He undresses, which Baekhyun is too tired now to appreciate, just watching sleepily as Kyungsoo strips down to his underwear before climbing into bed beside him. Baekhyun pulls him in closer, clings, and Kyungsoo lets him, even drapes an arm over him in turn.

“How was it?” Kyungsoo asks quietly. “And don’t lie.”

“Good,” says Baekhyun. “Think I get it now.”

“Yeah?” Kyungsoo gives his hip a soft squeeze. “Think you’ll want to do more?”

“Yeah. You—” Baekhyun pauses to clear his throat, voice still terribly hoarse. “You were good to me. Even when you were choking me with your dick.”

Kyungsoo frowns. “Was I too rough?”

“No,” says Baekhyun. “Honestly wanted you to be rougher.” Then he asks, “Kiss me?”

Kyungsoo obliges, over and over. Kisses Baekhyun gently on his swollen lips again and again and again, each softer than the last. Murmurs, “You did so well,” which makes Baekhyun swell to bursting with pride.

“But now I’m useless,” says Baekhyun. “Is it always this bad after?”

“It’s different for different people. This was probably intense because it was your first time.” His fingers move in slow circles on Baekhyun’s lower back. “If it’s still this sudden every time, will you stop?”

Baekhyun considers this. He feels a little empty, wrong, but mostly just overwhelmingly tired. It’s nothing he can’t deal with. And having Kyungsoo there makes it better, makes him feel like he’ll be okay. “No.” He snuggles closer, tucking himself against Kyungsoo. “You’ll just have to take care of me.”

“I will,” says Kyungsoo, kissing the top of his head. “Don’t worry.”

“Hey, so I never asked, but did you guys ever… y’know.” Chanyeol raises his eyebrows meaningfully.

It takes Baekhyun’s attention away from the movie, which he wasn’t paying much attention to anyway, really. He stares, uncomprehending, handful of popcorn paused momentarily on its way to being shoveled into his mouth. “Uh. One: who, and two: what?”

“You and Kyungsoo,” says Chanyeol. “When you guys met up the other week, did you…” He trails off again, waggles his eyebrows, stares at Baekhyun with big, stupid, curious eyes.

Baekhyun huffs, shoving the popcorn into his mouth at last. “Grow up,” he mumbles, resisting the impulse to throw some of the popcorn from the bowl in Chanyeol’s face only because it would be a waste of salty, buttery goodness. “Even if we did, why would I tell you?”

“It was my idea,” says Chanyeol. “So wait, are you saying you haven’t?”

“What we do or don’t do isn’t any of your business, shitstick.” Which Baekhyun does sort of believe, but more importantly, Kyungsoo requested that he not tell people about what they get up to. Likes to keep private matters private. Baekhyun pauses to swallow, then asks, “Why, you and lover boy need tips?”

“Fuck off,” Chanyeol grumbles.

“No, come on, there’s gotta be a reason you’re asking.” Baekhyun stretches a leg out to try to poke Chanyeol in the side, but is quickly swatted away. “You guys wanna try getting kinky? Dress up in one of those rubber dog suits and have Junmyeon rub your belly?”

Chanyeol makes a face like he’s smelled something rancid. “Gross, dude,” he says. “Look, I’m just asking ’cause he got all weird when I brought you up last night. So I figured either you two are getting freaky or you hate each other.”

Ah. It’s possible, if not likely, that Kyungsoo’s weirdness would have had something to do with the lewd messages Baekhyun was sending him. While those two were out with their friend group, Baekhyun, home alone and unfathomably bored, had sent Kyungsoo a steady stream of texts that alternated between hot and steamy and just flagrantly ridiculous. And he wasn’t just shouting into the void, either; Kyungsoo, unfailingly polite, had responded to quite a few of these, up to a point. Even replied to Baekhyun’s request of _pls come over here and drown me in cum_ with an exasperated _How? Should I stop by the sperm bank first?_

Eventually, the replies ended, though Baekhyun could see Kyungsoo was still reading the messages. He wondered, briefly, if Kyungsoo was annoyed with him, uncomfortable with the nature of the texts, or maybe the context he was getting them in. Baekhyun’s never had a sexual relationship where he _didn’t_ playfully pester them with semi-joking, semi-genuine solicitations. But Kyungsoo’s so earnest and dry-humored, it’s possible this isn’t really his thing. Those fears were quickly assuaged, though, when he responded at last to ask if Baekhyun had any plans on Saturday afternoon.

“We don’t hate each other,” says Baekhyun. “At least I hope not.” He pretends to think it over. “Maybe he gets weird when you bring me up ’cause you told him we should fuck.”

“Oh. Maybe,” says Chanyeol. Then, “So you really didn’t, huh?”

“We’ve hung out a few times.” It’s not a lie, technically, but also doesn’t answer Chanyeol’s question. “He’s nice. I like him.” Also not lies.

“You like him,” Chanyeol echoes.

“I think he likes me, too?” Baekhyun says uncertainly. “I haven’t really asked, I guess.”

Chanyeol’s mouth falls partway open in a look of genuine surprise. He says, “You _like_ each other,” like he can’t quite believe it. “Huh.”

“We’re not dating or anything,” Baekhyun says quickly. “But… we might eventually. We haven’t had a lot of opportunities to get to know each other yet, so it’s too soon to tell.” A quick fuck and a couple of intense power play sessions aren’t really that much to go off of, after all.

“That’s kinda cute,” says Chanyeol. “If I knew you’d get along, I would’ve introduced you guys years ago. I just thought you’d hate each other’s guts.”

“Wait, why’d you introduce us now, then?”

“Well.” Chanyeol shrugs, sheepish. “I thought if you _did_ hate each other, you could just fight it out by getting kinky?”

“That plays off of really bad misconceptions about BDSM, you know,” Baekhyun scolds. “People have to have a respect for—”

“Yeah, yeah, save the lecture.” Monster that he is, Chanyeol snatches a few kernels from the bowl of popcorn and flicks them at Baekhyun. “You sound like Kyungsoo.”

Baekhyun chooses to take that as a compliment.

A few minutes later, he sends to Kyungsoo, _still on for sat?_

Kyungsoo responds, _Absolutely._ Then he follows up with, _Yours or mine?_ And immediately after that: _…Never mind. Obviously mine._

Baekhyun holds back a fond giggle. He does like this boy, he thinks. He hopes it’s mutual.

“Color?”

“Green,” Baekhyun mumbles.

The hand strikes again. He whimpers, burying his tear-streaked face in the couch cushion. The pain is hot, stinging. He tries to remind himself not to be ashamed of how hard he is, of the obviousness of his erection against Kyungsoo’s thigh.

Another hit, and he clenches involuntarily around the plug in his ass. He feels so full, but so empty at the same time. It’s a useless, frustrating pressure, yet wonderful even so.

He imagines the plug being gone, and Kyungsoo, after hitting his tender, aching skin again, rubbing over the curve of Baekhyun’s ass, pushing capable fingers into his hole, fucking him with them slowly and whispering sweet encouragements. Then he would pull out and hit him again. He’d alternate between pleasure and pain until Baekhyun came, sobbing and wrecked.

That isn’t the reality. What he gets instead is Kyungsoo spanking him a few more times, then asking, “Will you apologize now?”

Baekhyun’s instinct is to say _no_ , contrary and a little bratty by nature, but he doesn’t actually know how much more of this he can take, physically. He sniffles, gulps heavily, and lifts his head to stutter, “Yes, Kyungsoo.”

“Well?”

“I’m sorry for bothering you when you—when you were with friends.”

“And?” Kyungsoo prompts.

“And for trying to turn you on.” And succeeding, Baekhyun thinks a little smugly.

“And what message are you _especially_ sorry for?”

Oh, that could be a few of them. Baekhyun isn’t actually sure at first. He racks his brain for a moment. “Um. Yellow. I said a lot of dumb stuff, so I honestly don’t know,” he admits.

He hears Kyungsoo pick something up from the side table. “I’ll show you,” he says. There’s a pause. Moments later, Kyungsoo’s phone is set in front of him. “Here.”

Baekhyun takes hold of the phone and reads through the messages, and at once he knows _exactly_ which one it is. He can’t help the bubble of laughter that escapes, shaking his whole body and undercutting the tension in the room. “Oh fuck,” he says. “Okay, yeah, got it.” He holds up the phone and lets Kyungsoo take it, then tries to compose himself again. “Green.”

“Go on,” says Kyungsoo.

“I’m sorry for asking you to fist me Naruto-style and make a Rasengan in my asshole,” says Baekhyun, trying his absolute hardest to keep a straight face. He adds, “Worth it, though.”

Kyungsoo spanks him again, which surprises an undignified yelp out of him. Not, granted, that any of his previous reactions could be described as dignified in the slightest.

“Do you think you’ve been punished enough?” asks Kyungsoo.

“Do you want an honest answer?” Baekhyun replies, grinning as the brattiness wins out.

He saw this one coming, of course, but it still stings, making him grit his teeth and hiss. He takes a steadying breath, says, “Yes, Kyungsoo.”

“You’ve been bad this week,” says Kyungsoo, resting his hand on Baekhyun’s tailbone, just below where his bunched-up shirt lays. “Will you be good now?”

“Yes, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo hums. “Maybe I can give you some incentive. How does that sound?”

Baekhyun licks his lips, all sense of amusement gone. “Good.”

The hand trails down slowly. Baekhyun winces as the plug is pulled out, but the momentary discomfort is followed by a wave of relief, because finally, _finally_ he’ll get something substantial. He’s wired with anticipation, struggling not to squirm with excitement. That becomes even more difficult when he feels Kyungsoo pull his pants and underwear—which, until now, had been yanked only far enough down to bare his ass—further down his legs. Baekhyun could just kick them the rest of the way off, but he hasn’t been told to, so he refrains.

Kyungsoo gives a series of orders that result in Baekhyun, now pantsless, bracing himself against the armrest, ass in the air. He knows Kyungsoo’s behind him only because of the points of contact along Baekhyun’s ankles and calves. Suddenly there are hands, too, holding his hips, pulling him backward just a bit. And then, perhaps not surprisingly, the wet heat of Kyungsoo’s mouth, lips kissing along the angry flesh, tongue lapping teasingly before pushing inside of him.

Before now, Baekhyun’s never been eaten out bare, never felt someone’s tongue slide wetly past his rim. The feeling makes him cry out, helpless and overwhelmed. It’s such a stark contrast to the indifferent pressure of the plug, and to the hard impact of Kyungsoo’s hand. The way Kyungsoo eats him out is thorough, tender, hungry. To make matters worse, one hand has reached around to Baekhyun’s cock, stroking lightly and leisurely.

Soon, it becomes so much that Baekhyun lets out a wail, and Kyungsoo pulls back.

“Col—”

“Green green green green,” Baekhyun chants. “Please, Soo, please.”

Kyungsoo’s mouth resumes its steady dismantling of Baekhyun’s remaining control. One hand smooths over the aching curve he’d so harshly beaten earlier, adding an edge of faint, persistent pain as he continues devouring Baekhyun. There’s an undercurrent of discomfort in every sensation now, actually, growing steadily with every second. Baekhyun tries to ignore it, focusing on the feelings of pleasure instead.

It lasts for only a few short moments, though, before Kyungsoo stills and pulls away again. He says quietly, “Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun gives an incoherent sound of acknowledgment in reply.

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says again, “sweetheart. Did you come?”

Frowning, Baekhyun opens his mouth to say _Of course I didn’t,_ but doesn’t get past the first syllable before it sticks in his throat. He can feel his cock softening in Kyungsoo’s hand, and the lingering discomfort of overstimulation. He breathes, “Yeah.”

He feels Kyungsoo clamber over his leg to get off the couch, hears him say, “Lie down,” but in his regular, soft voice, not a trace of authority in it. So Baekhyun stretches his legs back until he’s sprawled out on the couch, waiting.

The coldness of the ointment is jarring at first, but Kyungsoo’s hands are careful as he applies it. The pain isn’t even that bad anymore, easily soothed by whatever’s being massaged into Baekhyun’s skin. It’ll be sensitive for a while, he suspects, but probably shouldn’t hurt. He hopes it doesn’t, at least.

As if reading his mind, Kyungsoo says, “It shouldn’t bruise. You’d have to get hit a lot harder for that. But if you’re sore from the plug later, a bath should help.”

Baekhyun grunts. The cool wetness on his naked butt feels at odds with his top half still being clothed. Strange. Awkward. It doesn’t feel right— _he_ doesn’t. And his face is still tear-sticky, probably puffy and red. Probably disgusting, really.

“Stay here or move to the bedroom?” asks Kyungsoo.

“Whichever,” says Baekhyun. “You pick.”

“Bedroom, then,” says Kyungsoo. “We can get you in clean clothes while we’re there.”

Baekhyun gets to his feet, wobbling only slightly, and lets Kyungsoo lead him over to the bedroom, which is darker and cooler than the living room. He tries not to fidget from the cold air on his skin. If not for his pride he’d be curled into a ball right now, huddled in a corner in the fetal position, trying desperately to retain what little heat from his body he can.

That isn’t necessary, though. Kyungsoo helps him put on loose-fitting pajama pants and has him trade his shirt for a softer one. Then he helps him get cozy in bed, as usual, wrapping Baekhyun in a cocoon of warmth.

Then Kyungsoo stands awkwardly for a moment, hesitating. He sits himself on the edge of the bed, looks at Baekhyun with plain concern, and asks, “Are you okay?”

“Mmhm.”

Kyungsoo clearly doesn’t buy it. “Are you sure? You seem upset.”

Baekhyun looks away. “How do you figure?” he says to the pillow.

“You’re quiet,” says Kyungsoo. “Usually you complain about something, or flirt in weird ways.”

“Just tired,” says Baekhyun, hoping they can leave it at that.

“Did I hurt you? Or make you uncomfortable?”

“No.”

“Was there something about the scene you didn’t like?”

“No,” says Baekhyun, “I liked it.”

“Then what is it?”

Baekhyun takes a long moment to reply, because the thing he wants to say feels silly. He just keeps staring at the pillow, hoping it can give him an answer. When it doesn’t, he says, “You’re disappointed.”

“What?” He can hear the frown in Kyungsoo’s voice. “Why would you think that?”

“I didn’t get you off,” says Baekhyun, curling into himself. “You didn’t say I was a good boy.”

A pause. “Shit,” Kyungsoo mutters. “I’m sorry, Baekhyun. I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s fine, I should’ve—” Baekhyun cuts off, not knowing what it is he should’ve done, but feeling it was his fault regardless.

“When we do this, your wellbeing is my responsibility,” says Kyungsoo. “I should’ve taken better care of you. I’m sorry,” he says again. “Do you want me to stay with you?”

Baekhyun, still curled up, gives a small nod.

Within moments, he has Kyungsoo spooning him, arms wrapped securely around him and lips pressed to the base of his neck. Kyungsoo utters soft reassurances, tells him how good he is, how amazing, how sweet and beautiful. Such a good boy. So responsive. So hot.

The wrongness in Baekhyun is slowly ebbing away, replaced by a fuzzy, tender warmth. He melts a little when Kyungsoo takes one of his hands and laces their fingers together. Like this, he feels good and whole and safe.

But it’s confusing, too. Baekhyun’s slightly muddled brain tells him this had better not be love, not so soon, not like this. He doesn’t think it is; his heart doesn’t do the sorts of things around Kyungsoo that it would with someone he cared that deeply about. But this comfort, this feeling of belonging, is something he’s never experienced without love before. It’s an elusive thing, difficult to pin down even when it’s right in front of him, but it’s here now. He feels an absolute, perfect certainty that Kyungsoo will take care of him. He just knows it.

At the next brush of lips on his neck, he murmurs, “Fuck me,” and Kyungsoo goes still and silent behind him.

After a beat: “No.”

“I can take it,” says Baekhyun. “Probably wouldn’t get off on it, but it wouldn’t hurt now.”

“That’s not how this works,” says Kyungsoo.

“Why?”

“You’re vulnerable. I’m not taking advantage of you.”

“But I’m asking—”

“I’m not going to get turned on from taking care of you after I hurt you, Baekhyun. Drop it.” Then, belatedly, “Please.”

Baekhyun goes quiet. He shouldn’t have asked.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo says yet again. His tone is softer now, a little desperate. “I’m not mad. I’m just—” He takes a deep breath, letting it out in a whoosh against Baekhyun’s neck. “I don’t want to use you. I want you to feel good.”

“But I’m telling you I _want_ you to fuck me,” says Baekhyun, still uncomprehending.

“No, Baekhyun,” says Kyungsoo. “You want me to dominate you again so you can be satisfied that you’ve done a good job.”

That shouldn’t sting as much as it does. Baekhyun flinches bodily, suddenly uncomfortable in his skin. He says weakly, “No I don’t.”

“No? You’re saying you’re not still in subspace?”

Baekhyun says nothing.

“Come on, baby boy,” Kyungsoo says roughly, in something that’s not quite his Dominant voice. “Tell me what you want.”

The words send a jolt down Baekhyun’s spine. It’s not arousal, but something equally primal and fierce. He feels dizzy with a need he doesn’t understand. A little sick, too, with the realization that Kyungsoo is right. All that tender whispering made him sink back into his role, determined once again to be taken, used.

He doesn’t respond, and doesn’t resist as Kyungsoo nudges him, turns him over gingerly onto his back. He looks up into soft, sorry eyes. Then Kyungsoo kisses his cheek, his mouth, tells him again and again that it’s okay. And Baekhyun believes him. He falls asleep tucked against Kyungsoo’s chest, still agitated and confused, but safe, at least.

When he wakes up, his head is throbbing, an ache like a hangover pulsing dully in his skull. He groans, trying to bury himself deeper in the nest of blankets, but is met with resistance in the form of Kyungsoo, who’s inextricably wrapped up in him. Baekhyun’s movement makes him stir, though, inhaling deeply and shifting his weight just a bit. A foot touches one of Baekhyun’s.

Normally, Baekhyun would relish the opportunity to drowsily cuddle and do nothing, but his head is killing him and his breath tastes awful and he needs to pee. He disentangles himself from Kyungsoo carefully, then shuffles off to the bathroom.

After emptying his bladder, he searches around for the stash of spare toothbrushes in the cabinet. It would be more sensible for Baekhyun to just keep a designated toothbrush of his own here, at this rate, but that’s a little too intimate, he thinks. There are connotations to gestures like that. Similarly, he doesn’t keep a change of clothes here, even if it would be easier.

He’s in the middle of brushing when Kyungsoo appears, looking groggy and tired and small. Baekhyun makes space for him at the sink. Rather than brushing his own teeth, Kyungsoo takes a swig of mouthwash, rinses, then does it again.

“Bad breath?” Baekhyun mumbles around his toothbrush.

“I got your rectal bacteria in my mouth,” says Kyungsoo, voice still sleep-thickened.

Oh. True. Baekhyun spits out a mouthful of toothpaste and says sheepishly, “At least I cleaned it first?”

“Not a complaint, just a fact,” says Kyungsoo, which is fair.

Baekhyun finishes up, and he’s all minty fresh and good to go, in theory. He looks to Kyungsoo, who’s leaning back against the doorframe, giving him a critical once-over.

“How are you holding up now?” asks Kyungsoo.

“Head kinda hurts,” says Baekhyun. “Think I’m mostly alright, though. Butt’s feeling great.”

“And emotionally?”

“Better,” says Baekhyun. “A little guilty, I guess.”

“Don’t be,” Kyungsoo says quickly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Baekhyun sighs, shrugs. “Yeah, well.”

Kyungsoo straightens and takes a step toward Baekhyun. His expression is solemn. “If I didn’t enjoy doing this with you, Baekhyun, I wouldn’t do it,” he says. “Do you believe that?”

“Of course,” says Baekhyun.

“Then do you also believe that I think you’ve done really well, and I’ve never been disappointed in your performance?”

“I guess.” Baekhyun falters. “I still don’t know what I’m doing, though. I always kind of feel like I’m getting something wrong.”

“There’s no absolute right or wrong way to do any of this,” says Kyungsoo. “As long as no one gets hurt, we’re fine.” His frown deepens. “So you have to understand why I don’t like that I upset you, even if it was just an accident. You shouldn’t have to worry about something that’s my problem.”

“It’s fine, though,” says Baekhyun. “We worked it out eventually. No hard feelings.”

Kyungsoo hums. He looks like he wants to say more, but just asks, “Are you hungry? I was thinking of making dinner.”

Baekhyun perks up, not having realized until just now how hungry he is. “Dinner?”

While Kyungsoo cooks, Baekhyun hovers nearby, watching curiously. He doesn’t know why he wasn’t aware before now that Kyungsoo can cook, because he seems really good at it. To Baekhyun’s untrained eye, that is. He chops and stirs with careful precision, moves with confidence around the smallish kitchen space.

“Just so you know,” says Baekhyun, “this is a huge turn-on for me.”

Kyungsoo glances up, blinking owlishly. “What is?”

“Your culinary skills. I’m not even kidding, it’s really hot.”

Kyungsoo looks back down. Amazingly, unbelievably, Baekhyun sees his ears go red. Won’t even bat an eye at Baekhyun begging for his cock, but turns all shy when told his prowess in the kitchen is impressive. Baekhyun really, really does like him.

Once the food’s ready, Baekhyun decides to take full advantage of the situation, pouting and asking Kyungsoo to feed him. It turns out he doesn’t have to work very hard to persuade the guy, as Kyungsoo agrees fairly readily, without making any sort of fuss or complaint. Caretaking must come naturally to him, Baekhyun thinks. Must be why he takes his role in their play sessions so seriously. At that thought, something clicks.

“Hey,” says Baekhyun. “Maybe I should’ve asked this before, but—are _you_ okay?”

Kyungsoo’s face screws up in another frown. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You seemed upset earlier. Like you took it personally when I got all weird.”

“Oh, that,” says Kyungsoo. “Of course I took it personally. It was my fault.”

“So what?” says Baekhyun, more than a little miffed by the hypocrisy. “I didn’t blame you for it, so you didn’t fuck up _that_ badly.”

“Still,” says Kyungsoo. “You deserve to—”

“Do you need to be held and told you’re a good boy now, too?” Baekhyun says, grinning.

Kyungsoo snorts. “No, but go ahead if you want.”

“I don’t want you to feel bad either, you know.” Baekhyun kicks lightly at Kyungsoo’s ankle. “You wouldn’t hurt me on purpose. I mean.” He huffs out a laugh. “Except when I ask you to.”

“I try not to,” says Kyungsoo.

“Trying is good enough. You’re only human, Soo.”

Kyungsoo stares, mouth falling ever so slightly open. “You called me that earlier, too,” he says.

Oh, so he did. “You don’t like it?”

“I don’t mind it,” Kyungsoo says with a tone that implies he maybe likes it a lot.

They finish eating, then share a kiss, and then Baekhyun leaves, because whatever kind of relationship this is, it’s not one where he stays the night. Just one where they kiss, fuck, talk at length about wanting to make each other happy.

Definitely not complicated at all.

In the immediate aftermath of their sixth session, Baekhyun decides to try something. He takes Kyungsoo’s face gently in his hands, kisses him soundly on the mouth, and murmurs, “Thank you for taking care of me.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to know how to react. He has a look of wide-eyed surprise—understandably, since he had just been talking about how Baekhyun should stretch his legs again in a bit, in case the spreader bar left him too stiff. Baekhyun had cut him off mid-sentence with that kiss, and now he doesn’t seem to know where to pick it up again.

Baekhyun kisses him again, then says, “You’re doing such a good job.”

Again: “You make me feel so good.”

And again: “I like you a lot.”

And lastly: “I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo says quietly and with so much awe. He looks a little lost for a second, glancing around at the toys, the cloth he’d been using to wipe the sweat from Baekhyun’s forehead. He says, “I was supposed to start cleaning up, but I don’t… think that’s important, suddenly.”

“It’s not,” Baekhyun confirms.

“We still have things to do, though,” says Kyungsoo. “Like your bath, and the—”

“We don’t have to do anything,” Baekhyun says with a laugh. “Let’s just go to bed, Soo.”

They do, but they don’t sleep just yet. They kiss each other’s mouths open, share secret words in the space where their breaths meet, admit to obvious things that don’t need to be voiced at all. Eventually, though, Baekhyun starts to drift off, while his boyfriend holds him and strokes his arm fondly.

Half-asleep, Baekhyun mumbles, “Can’t believe this all happened ’cause Chanyeol talked about you wanting to dick-slap me.”

Kyungsoo just sighs and says, “In my defense, I was a little drunk.”

After a beat of silence, Baekhyun, now fully awake, says, “Wait a second—”

**Author's Note:**

> a few things:  
> 1) secretary is an awful movie and i'll fight anyone who says otherwise  
> 2) this isn't meant to be an instruction manual per se but it 100% is a thinly-veiled criticism of some harmful beliefs and practices. i'm a little transparent about certain things, oop  
> 3) look i know there was a lot of stuff that was just casually brought up and then never touched on again but that's just how my fics always are, 100% of the time. we'll all just have to live with that
> 
> anyway if you have any questions or comments you can hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/sweatersoo) or [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/zannen)


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